The Evening Tea post #1

Good afternoon fellow bloggers! It’s another day and another adventure.

The Evening Tea is just your Cup of Morning, but in the afternoon. Just like the cup of morning, the tea can and will be about anything and everything.

Let’s start off with today’s background music: Mad World by Gary Jules. This song will bring a great mellow sound and he-

PLOP!

A book lands on the ground in front of me. After the dust settles, I head over and inspect it.

The cover reads: KING TURBIUS AND THE CRYSTAL PENGUIN

I open the book and read its contents

There once was a ruler of great legend.
He ruled his land with mighty power and all those under him loved and respected him.

This man was King Turbius. The great king of Joneia.

King Turbius always ruled his people with kindness; no one questioned him and peace existed for as long as he reigned, but one day the jimmies were rustled when a stranger came into the land.

She was an old woman dressed in concealing robes, holding an aura of mystery around her. She headed towards the King’s domain.

“King Turbius! A stranger seeks your audience immediately,” yelled one of the guards.

“Let this stranger in, I will grant my audience.” said the king.

The hall in which the king presided in was ornated with paintings and murals of Ducks and Horses. The murals depicted the epic battles waged against the armies of the Dark Overlords of Marmite. Turbius led these creatures into battle with his mighty sword Talliwag, and claimed victory for all mankind. The Dark Overlords warned that they would return before they were vanquished by Turbius. It had been 10 years since the mighty war and 10 years of peace for the land.

“You have requested my presence stranger. I ask for your identity in return.” bellowed the king.

“My identity is not important, but what information I bring carries the very fate of your land within its words.” The woman spoke with great age and heed in her voice.

“You speak of the fate of my land stranger. Do you mean to threaten Joneia’s peace or do you mean to warn of perils to come? Speak wisely.” Turbius exclaimed.

“I bring neither threat nor warning, only truth. Your land shall see the return of the Marmite, and shall be vanquished.”

“Marmite!” roared the king, “The name shall not be spoken of again stranger! I hope there is more to your words for the threat of the Overlords is a threat of an enemy!”

“I am but a messenger you can do to me what you will, but the end result shall not change.” she chided.

“Surely if you come bearing this news you must also know a way to prevent the fate or the risk would not be taken of you coming here.” Turbius reasoned.

“You are wise and the words are true, the return of the Marmite is inevitable. Yet, there is hope for the eternal vanquishing of these Dark Lords.”

“And where will this hope be birthed?”

“You must find the Crystal Penguin, it is the only wa-”

At this moment, a window shattered in the hall. Something had flown through and, in an instant, hit the old woman. She collapsed to the ground with a thud. The guards clambered rapidly around the hall quickly encircling the king to protect him.

“Move out of my way guards! I must see this woman!” he rumbled as he pushed through his guards.

On close inspection he found that the woman was shot by an arrow. There was no blood or injury from where the arrow embedded itself, only a dark aura. These arrows were used by the forces of Marmite. They did no physical harm, but tore apart the souls of its victims instantly killing them.

“She spoke the truth. The Marmites are returning. I must find this crystal penguin… wait what’s this?” he noticed a note in the palm of the woman’s hand. Turbius took it and read the writing:

Head to the place where it all began to find where it all will end.

“Bring me Talliwag,” he said, “I know where to go.”

Welp that’s it! Sort of. If you want to see the continuation of king turbius and that crystal penguin, stay tuned for future posts. Whether it be a Cup of Morning or The Evening Tea, keep an eye out because I can and will post at random.

As always I hope you all enjoyed that Evening Tea, and wish everyone a wonderful evening!

Until next time!

Jon, out.

Cup of Morning number 2

Good morning lovely bloggers! Welcome again to another fresh brewed Cup of Morning!

As always remember anything can and will happen in these posts!

So let’s start off with some music shall we? Beautiful World by Coldplay, an older song by them but always a good one.

So yesterday I got to experience the true gift of friendship:

Flatulence.

Yes fellow bloggers it would seem that only amongst the best of friendships, flatulence is freely allowed and accepted.

Not only that, but it is fully accepted regardless of gender.

Anyways

So I was having a nice game of Risk. For those of you that don’t know what Risk is, it’s basically a game about taking over the world with armies and whatnot. It’s very fun, I highly recommend it.

So here I am with my friends, that happen to be of the female variety, slowing winning the game because I have control of South America, Africa, and Austraillia. Victory was in my clutches…

But my bowels clutched something else.

With the stealth of a ninja, my cheeks delivered its gift to the world. The only downside was that it didn’t smell so lovely.

I became nervous, not wanting anyone to know I had sprayed my own dirty Febreeze into the room.

But it was inevitable.

‘Awww Jon what was that?!’ Said my lovely Colleen. The rest of my friends looked at me and I knew that I had been discovered, game over.

And then they laughed. These girls were laughing not at me, but at the efficiency of my fart.

I was surprised.

I always saw flatulence as a social taboo, but these girls, these friends of mine, were laughing and talking about their own stories of flatulence.

Not only were the stories of them, but also of their parents. Again I was surprised, but accepted.

And that my friends is true friendship.

A good morning to all, and a great rest of your days. Hope you enjoyed today’s Cup of Morning.

Jon, out.

A Cup of Morning post #1

Before I do this post let me explain what shall go on in morning posts.

Absolutely anything I want to happen.

Whatever happens I’m sure it’ll be a little refreshing and enjoyable. Enjoy your cup of morning post!

GAME START!

*boop*

First things first. Jolly cooperation and praise the sun!

Good morning fellow bloggers lets start off with a random song from which to create atmosphere with. Today it will be
‘Coming Home’ by Goldfish I hope you en-

RANDOM ENEMY USED FISH SLAP!
-5HP!

Oh crap! it’s the YOLO boys! It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this!

Item received! Mutemath CD

+5 Good Taste -30 Brainwash +50% Nicki Minaj resistance

Item received! Northface Jacket

+ 2 Defense +60% Cold Resistance +5 Style
Passive: Takes 5% total wealth every paycheck. Stacks until wealth taken amounts to $180

Now go! Destroy those disappointments to society!

You used Maturity!

Critical hit! +200% Reason to Speech

-500 HP

YOLO boys used Call of Duty ‘Skills’!
+20 Ego Boost +200 HP + 50% Resistance to all Adult Spells!

You used Honed Gaming Skills!
+150% Effect from 15+ Years of Gaming!

-600HP

YOLO boys used Rage Quit!

Enemy inflicted -100 HP to self!

KO!

Enemy defeated! You win!

+278 EXP!

LVL UP! +5 Respect +3 Fit +10 Troll Resistance

Item Recieved!

Cool Story, Bro!

+100% Cool Stories!

Well you definitely taught those kids a thing or two.

Anyways

Get yourself a cup of joe, or take a shower. I dunno, do what you do to wake yourself up today.

It’s another great day to be alive and so much adventure awaits today, I can feel it!

New Mission! Enjoy Day. Reward: +100 EXP

Do not worry about what yesterday brought for today is a day anew. I hope you enjoyed today’s Cup of Morning.

Til next time,

Jon, Out.

The Absolutely True Story of a Random Person

My legend began in the 12th century! Or rather it began in 1992. But that part isn’t interesting.

Basically I barfed and stuff and one time I shat and it wasn’t in a toilet. Cool story.

Anyways

Lets fast forward to a time where I didn’t barf and shit hit the fan instead of the toilet.

My freshmen year.

It was my first time I’d be on my own in college (que fireworks of awesome). I was 17 and I was on my way towards eternal glory!!!

Or so it seemed.

Halfway through the semester I literally stopped giving a damn. So no surprise I failed the semester.

Shit

Now I was out of college with no support what could I do. Fortunately I still had financial aide. And with that I was able to attend community college for a year. I even got a job.

But then I failed again.

For most this would be the end of the story. No one can recover from this.

If it wasn’t for my mums stubborn faith in me it would be.

But I got a second chance. And here I am now at the end of the semester with my life back on track. Maybe it was for the better that I went through what I went through but there’s still a long adventure ahead of me.

Jon, out.

The Apple Fell from the Tree

I have an iphone 4S, it will be the last phone or piece of technology period, that I will acquire from Apple.

I remember when i was younger and i got my first iPod nano, it was revolutionary; all the music I could want in something that I could carry in my pocket.

To me Apple used to be one of the technological gifts for society and because of the innovation of the iPods and iTunes, we are in a better place musically and technologically. I felt this way for a good while, even after the passing of Steve Jobs I was hopeful that Apple would still continue on bringing more innovation to the masses.

I was wrong.

When news of the iPhone 5 came out I was somewhat excited, not because I was interested in getting it (sorry I’m not that obsessed with getting what’s new). I was excited to see what Apple would do next that would take everyone by surprise again. Imagine how disappointing it was when i found out the new features.

iPhone 4S vs. iPhone 5:

bigger screen (okay i guess)

new map app (pretty horrible)

lost youtube (crap)

NEW CHARGER PORT! (this is ‘true genius’)

Not only was the fact that Apple lost two of it’s most efficient and essential apps, because it thought it was better without Google, but they thought A NEW CHARGER PORT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA!! (It’s not).

Now really this is small stuff, it can be overlooked and all in all is not too bad. But here’s the main problem: there’s no innovation’

If I could name the iPhone 5 I would name it the iPhone 4 2: the sequel. This is mainly because what the iPhone 5 essentially is, is a slight update to the iPhone 4.

Unlike the iPhone 4 which was a completely different creature than the iPhone 3G. The iPhone 5 really holds no big change from its predecessor.

Anyways

I truly believe that Apple shot itself in the foot when it unveiled the announcement of the IPAD MINI!!

What was now a joke on the Internet was a full fledged reality. That’s when you know things are bad.

I understand that Apple is trying to compete with the kindle fire but really?

All in all, the real thing Apple lost is its sense of innovation. It’s spirit to do what’s best for the customers. And the avoidance of overextending itself.

A sad future for Apple, but now everyone else can catch up and new innovations will come from other companies.

Another existential truth

The question is known by all.

Why are we here?

It is a question that spans the whole of human history and it will continue to do so until the very last day for mankind.

In my lifetime however, upon much thought, I came to an answer that is simple yet complex. It provokes the furtherance of my existence and essentially provides the importance of why I’m here.

I call it self-existence.

When I come upon the question this is how I answer.

There is no meaning to life in the span of the whole universe. We exist to exist. There is no ultimate goal of the human race other than to exist and do something with our existence.

When one breaks away from the responsibility of having a universal importance, the question of our existence is answered.

We exist to create purpose of the world around us.

Our existence has no affect on the whole universe, but it does have an effect on the immediate surroundings.

We live on earth and because we do, we directly affect the happenings of this planet.

What goes on in this planet truly is dependent on what we and every other living organism on this planet decide to do.

In this sense we create importance essentially out of thin air.

And that’s pretty awesome.

Falling prey to the unavoidable cliche, life is a video game and we are the players.

To us, life has importance and our actions directly affect the universe we are immersed in.

But to the outside world not involved in the video game, there is nothing actually happening due to our actions.

So no, we don’t have an ultimate purpose of existence, but we exist in order to promote the continuation of life.

That is my answer

The essence of being

What makes us human?

Is it the distinction of being the only creature in this world capable of forming it to our will?

No.

Is it the formation of morals and ethics?

No.

I see human and truly the ultimate goal of ‘being’ as the moment when a species looks upon the world and first conceives the thought of life and mortality.

Consider a squirrel, does it live or does it survive? A squirrel does not ponder the world around it, instead, it seeks food because it draws upon instinct to do so. The squirrel does not ponder its own mortality, it just knows that a creature coming after it is a bad thing and it must defend itself from whatever the bad thing is.

We became human when we developed the thought:

‘I need food to live’

In the world that ancient homo sapiens lived in, the conditions faced were not ideal for a human, yet we stayed where we pleased. We neglected the instincts that animals followed, and we followed our own pursuits. We adapted and hunted, becoming predators. Unlike predators, we were not shackled to one area and thus allowed us to explore and spread out. Something no other animal could do without the process of evolution and random chance.

Humans existed in the cold of the arctic, and human existed in the dryness of the desert.

Humans existed through the harsh winters and the blazing summers.

We did not respond to what the world did, we endured as the world changed around us.

That will always be true for us.

Today we live in a world of luxury compared to what the most basic life is like. The separation from creature to being is now a chasm spanning an immeasurable distance.

We are human because we die and live, not because we survive.

That is the true essence of ‘being’.