Cup of Morning #2+2

Hello fellow bloggers! It’s a great day to be alive and another day for some freshly brewed Morning!!!

Today’s song of choice shall be Wet Welly by Goldfish. This band is most well known for Fort Knox, but damn can they make some epic beats. Enjoy!

And now we return to the story of


Last time, King Turdius was approached by a stranger. This old man brought warnings of the return of the Dark Dukes of Marmite!

When the old man was revealing how to stop the Dark Dukes, a knife flew through the window hitting him and killing him. King Turdius found a parcel in the strangers hand that read:

Head to the place where it ended to find where it will end again.

Wielding his might sword Talliwag, King Turdius went onwards in search of an old friend.

“Turdius, are you sure about this?” His advisor Eckton asked.

“I’ve never been more sure Eck, I knew one day I’d be leaving these lands once again, that stranger only reassured me of something I already knew.” He said.

“As my most trusted advisor, I know you can run things in my absence. Thank you for assembling my backpack.” Turdius said this with honor on his voice.

Eckton was a like a father to Turdius, always being there since his beginnings. He was one of the few of Turdius’s staff that had never left, been fired, or was arrested for corrupt actions.

“Here Turdius, this shield has been passed down through the royal lineage. It’s been kept in safe keeping until it was needed. This shield protects you from attacks as well as magic. And when carried by your lineage is completely weightless. To those of evil it will be infinitely heavy. May it aide you.”

What Eckton said was true, in his hands this shield felt like nothing. Turdius had to double check to make sure he was actually holding it.

“I’m off now Eckton, stay safe.” He said as be walked through the doors.

Turdius walked into the night air and took a deep breath, summer was ending and the nips of fall were in the air. Turdius did not want to makes grand exit and chose to leave at night to avoid causing any concern to his citizens.

He donned his hood and headed toward the outer edges of his land. After a half-hours walk he reached the Durgen River Bridge which marked the official edge of his kingdom. Turdius took one last look at his home; the lanterns throughout the towns glimmered warmly and gave a welcoming glow to all the houses and buildings. It put a smile on his face.

Going on this trail brought back memories of 10 years prior when Turdius first traversed these lands in search of a place to build home.

3 days Turdius walked, and 3 nights Turdius slept until finally he came to the harshlands. Geysers spewed here and there releasing steam and heat into a land unfamiliar with the word. The snow always fell on this land, perpetually turning it white.

Turdius exhaled, forming a miniature cloud that quickly blew away. The snow was falling gently and ironically gave a calm and quiet atmosphere to the harshlands. Even still, Turdius stayed very alert, he knew there was something watching him. He always knew.

“REVEAL YOURSELF YOU SCOUNDREL!” he roared as he crashed his sword on the ground.


Then, a gunshot broke the silence. Turdius quickly held up his shield just in time to hear the ping as it hit against the magic metal.

“ALWAYS THE HEAD ISN’T IT?!” He said as he started running.

Suddenly he heard a rustle from his side and a figure jumped at him.

They collided in the snow and started exchanging hits. Turdius got a good punch in the stomach, but suffered a snap to the head. He quickly kicked up with his feet and pushed the attacker away giving enough time to get back up.

It was a man clad in white garments with a scarf masking his face. In his hands he held an icy cutlass and a rifle on his back. He grunted as he swung his cutlass, which collided with Talliwag.

Every hit left a small layer of frost on Turdius’s sword making it more difficult for him to strike and parry. As skilled as Turdius was eventually he could no longer hold his own and a completely frozen Talliwag was knocked out of his hands.

With the cutlass inches from Turdius’s throat the man spoke.

“I would think after 10 years you’d put up a better fight.” He scoffed.

Turdius could feel the cold emanating from the cutlass.

“And I would think that after 10 years you’d learn how to fight like a man.” He chuckled.

“Aye! Turdius that mouth of yours is gonna get you killed!”

“That’s a compliment from where I’m from.”

The figure held out a hand and helped Turdius up.

“Obviously a brain isn’t required where you’re from.” He said staring at Turdius. There was a moment of silence and then the two men embraced.

“It’s good to see you old friend.” Turdius said to the man shaking his hand.

“Arr next time write before you stop in.” He said back.



“It’s bad.”

“I figured as much.”

“They’re back”

“Took long enough, are we gonna finish the fight?”

“We need to find something first.”

“A better sword?” Wicks chuckled while saying this.

“We gotta go back to Erket, apparently it’ll help us find the Diamon Penguin.”

“Erket…. It’s been some time, pretty sure it’s overrun by minions now.”

“Never said it would be easy.”

“Just the way I like it. Come rest up in my cabin and enjoy a meal. We have lots of catching up and stories to tell.”

“Indeed we do.”

And with that Turdius and Wicks headed towards an evergreen forest.

And there it is everyone! Another installment if TURDIUS AND THE DIAMOND PENGUIN for you all.

Be sure to stay around for more morning cups, evening teas, and late night javas! Because the next chapter can come anytime!

As always have a great day and hope you enjoyed the post!

Jon, out.


Cup of Morning the 3rd

Good morning everyone! It’s another day to be alive and another day for a freshly brewed Cup of Morning!

Today’s song of choice shall be Helicopter by Bloc Party. Definitely something that will raise your heart beat!


Wanna know what’s amazing? Waking up in the morning before the alarm goes off, and on top of that you’re not even tired!

Sure there’s rain outside, but right now you’re feeling so good it could be raining cute ninja puppies and you’d be just dandy.

I love these days because it’s not just the waking up or the AMAZING peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich I had.

It’s the feeling you get when you know you’re gonna have a good day. It’s unexplainable really, but it’s this feeling that you just know it’s gonna be smooth sailing ahead.

For some people happiness can be found in success, for others it can be found in helping others, and others still will find happiness when being spanked by a dominatrix.

I however find happiness in the little things in life like getting up a little bit early for a day.

So this is me wishing you all that today you find your own dominatrix. Whether it be the one that has you tied up and is about to use the belt. Or the dominatrix that makes it rain ninja stripper midgets.

A happy day to all!

I hope you enjoyed today’s Cup of Morning.

Jon, out.

The Evening Tea post #1

Good afternoon fellow bloggers! It’s another day and another adventure.

The Evening Tea is just your Cup of Morning, but in the afternoon. Just like the cup of morning, the tea can and will be about anything and everything.

Let’s start off with today’s background music: Mad World by Gary Jules. This song will bring a great mellow sound and he-


A book lands on the ground in front of me. After the dust settles, I head over and inspect it.


I open the book and read its contents

There once was a ruler of great legend.
He ruled his land with mighty power and all those under him loved and respected him.

This man was King Turbius. The great king of Joneia.

King Turbius always ruled his people with kindness; no one questioned him and peace existed for as long as he reigned, but one day the jimmies were rustled when a stranger came into the land.

She was an old woman dressed in concealing robes, holding an aura of mystery around her. She headed towards the King’s domain.

“King Turbius! A stranger seeks your audience immediately,” yelled one of the guards.

“Let this stranger in, I will grant my audience.” said the king.

The hall in which the kingĀ presided in was ornated with paintings and murals of Ducks and Horses. The murals depicted the epic battles waged against the armies of the Dark Overlords of Marmite. Turbius led these creatures into battle with his mighty sword Talliwag, and claimed victory for all mankind. The Dark Overlords warned that they would return before they were vanquished by Turbius. It had been 10 years since the mighty war and 10 years of peace for the land.

“You have requested my presence stranger. I ask for your identity in return.” bellowed the king.

“My identity is not important, but what information I bring carries the very fate of your land within its words.” The woman spoke with great age and heed in her voice.

“You speak of the fate of my land stranger. Do you mean to threaten Joneia’s peace or do you mean to warn of perils to come? Speak wisely.” Turbius exclaimed.

“I bring neither threat nor warning, only truth. Your land shall see the return of the Marmite, and shall be vanquished.”

“Marmite!” roared the king, “The name shall not be spoken of again stranger! I hope there is more to your words for the threat of the Overlords is a threat of an enemy!”

“I am but a messenger you can do to me what you will, but the end result shall not change.” she chided.

“Surely if you come bearing this news you must also know a way to prevent the fate or the risk would not be taken of you coming here.” Turbius reasoned.

“You are wise and the words are true, the return of the Marmite is inevitable. Yet, there is hope for the eternal vanquishing of these Dark Lords.”

“And where will this hope be birthed?”

“You must find the Crystal Penguin, it is the only wa-”

At this moment, a window shattered in the hall. Something had flown through and, in an instant, hit the old woman. She collapsed to the ground with a thud. The guards clambered rapidly around the hall quickly encircling the king to protect him.

“Move out of my way guards! I must see this woman!” he rumbled as he pushed through his guards.

On close inspection he found that the woman was shot by an arrow. There was no blood or injury from where the arrow embedded itself, only a dark aura. These arrows were used by the forces of Marmite. They did no physical harm, but tore apart the souls of its victims instantly killing them.

“She spoke the truth. The Marmites are returning. I must find this crystal penguin… wait what’s this?” he noticed a note in the palm of the woman’s hand. Turbius took it and read the writing:

Head to the place where it all began to find where it all will end.

“Bring me Talliwag,” he said, “I know where to go.”

Welp that’s it! Sort of. If you want to see the continuation of king turbius and that crystal penguin, stay tuned for future posts. Whether it be a Cup of Morning or The Evening Tea, keep an eye out because I can and will post at random.

As always I hope you all enjoyed that Evening Tea, and wish everyone a wonderful evening!

Until next time!

Jon, out.

Cup of Morning number 2

Good morning lovely bloggers! Welcome again to another fresh brewed Cup of Morning!

As always remember anything can and will happen in these posts!

So let’s start off with some music shall we? Beautiful World by Coldplay, an older song by them but always a good one.

So yesterday I got to experience the true gift of friendship:


Yes fellow bloggers it would seem that only amongst the best of friendships, flatulence is freely allowed and accepted.

Not only that, but it is fully accepted regardless of gender.


So I was having a nice game of Risk. For those of you that don’t know what Risk is, it’s basically a game about taking over the world with armies and whatnot. It’s very fun, I highly recommend it.

So here I am with my friends, that happen to be of the female variety, slowing winning the game because I have control of South America, Africa, and Austraillia. Victory was in my clutches…

But my bowels clutched something else.

With the stealth of a ninja, my cheeks delivered its gift to the world. The only downside was that it didn’t smell so lovely.

I became nervous, not wanting anyone to know I had sprayed my own dirty Febreeze into the room.

But it was inevitable.

‘Awww Jon what was that?!’ Said my lovely Colleen. The rest of my friends looked at me and I knew that I had been discovered, game over.

And then they laughed. These girls were laughing not at me, but at the efficiency of my fart.

I was surprised.

I always saw flatulence as a social taboo, but these girls, these friends of mine, were laughing and talking about their own stories of flatulence.

Not only were the stories of them, but also of their parents. Again I was surprised, but accepted.

And that my friends is true friendship.

A good morning to all, and a great rest of your days. Hope you enjoyed today’s Cup of Morning.

Jon, out.

The Absolutely True Story of a Random Person

My legend began in the 12th century! Or rather it began in 1992. But that part isn’t interesting.

Basically I barfed and stuff and one time I shat and it wasn’t in a toilet. Cool story.


Lets fast forward to a time where I didn’t barf and shit hit the fan instead of the toilet.

My freshmen year.

It was my first time I’d be on my own in college (que fireworks of awesome). I was 17 and I was on my way towards eternal glory!!!

Or so it seemed.

Halfway through the semester I literally stopped giving a damn. So no surprise I failed the semester.


Now I was out of college with no support what could I do. Fortunately I still had financial aide. And with that I was able to attend community college for a year. I even got a job.

But then I failed again.

For most this would be the end of the story. No one can recover from this.

If it wasn’t for my mums stubborn faith in me it would be.

But I got a second chance. And here I am now at the end of the semester with my life back on track. Maybe it was for the better that I went through what I went through but there’s still a long adventure ahead of me.

Jon, out.

A Personal Opinion on Life II

Previously, i spoke about the truths of the universe.

Now lets talk about society.

In two words i can describe the whole american culture:

F**ked up.

I see the world like this because of many things, mainly of the rise of the ignorant, the spoiled, and the apethetic. All this reflects itself in music, politics, and culture in general. My own generation disgusts me with how shalow most are, and on top of that these are the people that our parents generation is entrusting with the future.

It’s truely terrifying.

Even in college, where peole come for an education in something professional, I see people care more about the best way to get drug and where the parties are, but it’s okay because most get weeded out after freshmen year. Even that doesn’t help our generation, if anything, it just creates a larger lower class.

I feel sad for the ignorant, but i don’t pity those that put themselves in their situation.

Another thing I am dissappointed with is the mediocrity of politics and how it’s become a high school popularity contest, but in the end, no one wins. Our government is more interested in proving which animal is better, the ass or the huge ass with a trunk. And speaking of elephants and donkeys, politics can really be related to a circus.


With a divided government that shows little care for actually improving the state of the nation. Our hope lis within the few educated individuals that can make it through one of the hardest economies since the Great DepressionĀ and the worst employment regression for young adults.

All in all, we are in a crummy place in time, but through perserverence maybe there is hope.

Hope in spite of horrible conditions

That’s how i see the world

A Personal Opinion on Life

As the first post in the adequately titled “life stuff” category, it seems fitting to make a post about life in general. A note to readers that this isn’t a ‘Meaning to Life’ kinda thing, just a ‘I breathe therefore I blog about it’ kinda thing.


So I’ll start off with what I’ve essentially formed as the Ultimate Truths of the Universe, and then explain the stuff kinda came runner-up.

The Truths whittle down to 2 undeniable facts:

1. I think

2. I exist in someway

As such everything else is relative and is susceptible to the perception of the senses. The reason why the first truth is ‘I think’ is essentially because the one true thing that I have full power of is my thoughts, they are not physically real and cannot be manipulated in anyway by outer forces. All in all, the one thing that I know of the universe around me is that even if everything else around me just up and disappeared, my thoughts and my ability to think would still still exist.

This brings me to Truth 2, existence. I’ve come to figure that in some way I must exist. For if I think I must be within a place where a thought can occur, if i didn’t exist, I wouldn’t have the power to think because I must be existent in order to be able to think.

This brings the question then: if you don’t think then would that mean you don’t exist? My answer to that is I don’t know.

In the current state that I exist, I think. Since I do not live in any other state I cannot make a truth about a different state than that of which I am.

Now onwards to the relative stuff. Let’ start basic: breathing. I do it to ‘live’ but the real question is do I need to breathe to think? And the answer is no. Note that thinking and the existence of a brain are two different things. I think and what the reality I ‘live’ in tells me that I use the brain to think. But I cannot confirm that. So again the brain is relative.

Back to breathing. As I said, I don’t need breathing to think. But in this reality breathing allows the brain to function thus allowing the brain to produce thought. Since, as stated above, I cannot confirm the existence of the brain, I cannot confirm that breathing directly births the ability to think. So no breathing is relative.

Now here’s the fun part. A complexity that really challenges the truths.


No, I don’t do drugs, but it’s what they do that makes things complex: they change how we think and perceive the world around us. It’s not this affect that worries me though.

Because those affected by drugs don’t alter others universal perception. This brings up an interesting question.

Is the structure of the universe around us supported by the collective belief of those around me or is the universe based on my perception?

The one way I could personally prove this would be to try drugs and see what happens. I don’t believe I will, but there might be another way.

Bring someone who has yet to see the world, has yet to interpret any information. Into a room made in complete darkness by people who had no knowledge about the room location and what it looked like. Provide a way of nourishing this being somehow and then after a certain period of time. Possibly over a course of a couple years. And then have someone enter the room.

There’s two possibilities I can imagine. One is complete blackness and the other is something else. Of course this is a basic explanation of the proposal, there’s still so much variables that need addressed.


This is life in my philosophical view. For the social view of the world take a look at the next post.